Blog

Waiting with #breast cancer

Anyone who’s experienced cancer treatment, or is going through treatment at the moment will identify with the endless appointments and time spent waiting. It’s a lonely time, particularly with coronavirus.

 

I’m Waiting…

Waisting time

Again

My life ticks

Away

No book 📖 

No phone 📞 

No newspaper 📰 

To settle into

As coronavirus reigns

Boredom remains

🌷🌸 🌷🌸🌷

One hour

Or three

Today

I’m feeling lucky

Maybe

Two hours…

My legs feel dead

I’ve been sat so long

I’m past caring

The outcome,

Whatever

🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷

I’m surrounded by

Pink

Flowery pictures;

🌷 🌷 

I feel smothered

By false kindness.

My name is called

Reality beckons me now

I have breast cancer 

Why is it

Pink

and flowery?

🌷 🌷 

Poem by Spiral white

Blog

#Breast cancer? Why me?

Photo by Anthony DeRosa on Pexels.com

Its only unhealthy people who get sick?  Isn’t it?

I walk regularly, exercise and eat a healthy diet, surely not?

As I’ve recently found out, anyone can have cells in the body that become cancerous. 

Cancer doesn’t only pick unhealthy people. 

It’s more likely as you get older, but younger people can also develop cancerous cells. 

That’s why you should go for regular mammograms and check your breasts regularly, if you’re a woman. 

It’s also important to say here, that men can be at risk of developing cancerous cells in the chest.

If you’re worried about your likelihood of getting cancer, talk to your doctor, who can arrange further tests.

Don’t put it off, it could save your life.

My story starts here…

It began when I found a lump in my chest and went for tests. 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer and have started treatment. 

After my initial shock of finding out, a range of emotions went through my mind. 

Also questions…

What are my chances for the future?

Will I survive this?…Probably the most difficult thing to contemplate. 

If I complete all the suggested treatment my doctors recommend, I would have a 85% chance of the cancer not returning. 

Apparently, it’s never 100%, there’s always a chance it could come back.

Most importantly for me was the following question…

How will I get through all the treatments with fibromyalgia?

The answer to this question, I’ve spent a very long time thinking about…In short there is no easy answer. 

My personal opinion is; chemotherapy is brutal on the body and a body that fights every day to survive with fibromyalgia is going to be really stressed with chemotherapy.

What can I say to my friends and family?

How do I put into words my diagnosis?

It’s been hard to explain to others what’s happening.

Other people’s reactions can be difficult to predict when you tell them the news.  Most are really understanding and helpful. 

But I’ve found some to be well meaning and a bit thoughtless.

Saying…

‘You’re be OK, Lea and Viv had it much worse than you and they both survived.’

I reply,

‘Yes, thanks for that.’

In my head I think…

‘But they didn’t have fibromyalgia or any other chronic illness already. How do you know it was worse for them? Anyway; you’ve not had cancer.’

My best course of action I think is to turn it into a positive in some way with…

‘Great! I’ll have a new subject for my posts.’

In practice, it’s not that easy. Most things in life give you some degree of control but with cancer it’s very different.

So, as my treatment progresses my posts in the weeks ahead could get more sporadic. I’ll post as and when I’m able.

I wish all those battling cancer at the moment, strength and courage. With coronavirus our fight is twice as difficult; please stay safe and think of us when you’re social distancing.

If you’ve been affected by my news take a look at the Breast Cancer Now website https://breastcancernow.org for more information.

Picture by Spiral White